Stillness
by emjohnson
Summary: A more in depth look of Elizabeth at Jack's bedside. Based on Season 3 Finale *COMPLETE*
She held his hand as he slept.

She held his hand as she read Jane Eyre out loud.

She held his hand as Faith changed his bandages on his scrapes.

She held his hand as she turned him over, making sure he moved and did not develop any sores.

She held his hand while she slept, in the chair next to him, a blanket covering her legs.

Abigail came up with tea and sandwiches, for which she only had a few bites.

He couldn't eat and they were fearful he was dehydrated.

By day ten, she tried to sit him up, to get something in his stomach. But nothing worked.

The doctor made a visit every other day, keeping an eye on his hands and feet, noticing nothing was changing, for better or worse.

One night, night thirteen, he cried out. Fearful but strong, Elizabeth gently smoothed his hair and kept her hands on his cheek as she got him to relax again. No one knows what caused it but it was clear he was not right.

By day sixteen there was real concern he might never wake. Elizabeth would only leave the room to use the bathroom or to stretch her legs. But no longer than 5 minutes. She refused to leave him, even when the room was cold or she felt her own self succumb to the emotional roller coaster.

When Abigail entered with her dinner plate, Elizabeth was changing the dressed on his side.

"Let me help you."

Elizabeth looked up and smiled wearily. "I'm almost finished, thank you."

Abigail put the tray down and looked over Jack who had regained some color in his face.

"He looks better tonight."

"Hmm, yes." She leaned over and smoothed his hair. "Sometimes I wonder if he hears me, and then I have to stop because…"

She trailed off as Abigail went over and rubbed her arm.

"He does and he is."

It was quiet for a moment before Abigail came over with a cup of tea. "Here. It's your favorite. Cinnamon."

They exchanged a smile as Elizabeth took her seat, grabbing his hand, while balancing her cup in the other.

Abigail sat quietly with her as she hummed faintly. It relaxed her and she knew how much Jack enjoyed her soft notes.

Charlotte came up a few minutes later, squeezing his other hand, while she continued to hum gently.

The clock struck 1am as both ladies went to settle into their beds, kissing Elizabeth's cheek before leaving, telling her they were here.

In the darkness, she whispered to him.

"Jack, I'm here. I know you are tired but wake up soon ok? We have been praying for you. I love you."

She squeezed his hand tightly and gently pushed his hair back, knowing how much it calmed him when he was stressed. She found it comforting it as well.

The morning was dark when she felt a cramp. She looked over to see his chest rising and falling which thankfully told her, he was still ok. His hand was warm which she took as a sign that he getting better.

Gently she moved and winced at the pain that shot through her back and side. She sat on the bed and kissed his cheek, feeling the light stubble.

"Morning."

When she looked out the window, she saw it was dark and there was water on it.

Quietly she adjusted his sheets and blankets, making sure he was comfortable as she hummed another soft tune.

Charlotte came up a few minutes later with a change of clothes.

"I think he might feel better with some new clothes."

She nodded and watched as Charlotte leaned over him, smoothing his hair.

"Morning son. Let's get you cleaned up so you can look all pretty when you see Elizabeth."

Elizabeth let out a small smile as Charlotte gently pulled back the covers.

"I will be just outside."

Charlotte looked up. "Actually, would you mind? I know Jack would be red in the face but he is one strong man."

A bit embarrassed herself, Elizabeth nodded. "Ok."

Charlotte noticed her reservations as she chuckled, gently rolling up Jack's long sleeve shirt, exposing his bare chest. "You and Jack can joke about this later. Come lift up his shoulders."

It wasn't as awkward as Elizabeth thought it would be as they rolled off his shirt and put him into a new shirt, smelling like the fresh air.

His pants were next as Charlotte gave Elizabeth another look.

"Again, you and Jack can joke about this later, or it can be our little secret."

Elizabeth helped Charlotte with his pants, finding again it wasn't as uncomfortable as she thought it would be. In fact, she somehow bonded with Charlotte over stories of the knee scar that Jack had and the broken ankle he gave himself when he was fresh out of the academy.

"He thought he was invincible. Well four days after graduating, falls off a horse showing off to friends, which taught him quickly."

The woman shared a laugh as the tucked him back in, keeping his feet warm. His arm lay outside the blankets and she squeezed one again, hoping for some kind of response.

When she didn't feel one she whispered. "It's ok, I can wait."

Charlotte watched her. "You are his angel you know."

Elizabeth looked up. "And he's mine."

They woman exchanged another smile before Charlotte left the room.

Elizabeth continued to gentle stroke his cheek as she whispered her love for him.

That afternoon after a reading a few chapters of Jane Eyre and changing his bandages, she sat in her chair, writing a letter to her parents.

The room was quiet as she thought of what to say. When she was stuck, she spoke to him.

"I don't want to worry my parents but I want to tell them what's happened. I'm so sorry for not fighting for you enough when I was in Hamilton."

Suddenly she found herself reflective as she reached over and smoothed his hair back. "Do you know that my father told me to leave you behind? I never wanted you to know because I was afraid…" She choked up as she confessed to him. "…that you would tell me to go, teach in the finest school with all best teaching tools…" She stopped and looked out the window to see it raining harder.

When she looked back at him, she squeezed his hand harder, her voice stronger and more direct. "But I'm meant to be here. With these people. With these children. And most importantly with you. So, don't give up Jack because I'm not. And don't tell me to go because I'm not. I am here. For you. With you. I am forever and always yours."

The emotion gripping her and overwhelming her, she gently leaned down and kissed his lips, finding them warm. It was the best sign.

Her letter was brief but calm. She told her parents Jack wasn't well but he would be fine. And at the very end she said she wasn't leaving and that if they wanted to see her, Hope Valley was only a train and stagecoach ride away.

She signed it, Love, Elizabeth with a ps. If her father wanted her to come home, she would be coming with Jack and he would stay in her room.

That evening, Abigail and her sat bedside while reminiscing about Elizabeth first coming to town.

"I must have looked a fright."

Abigail chuckled as she held Jack's other hand. "A little bit."

"How did you come about inviting Jack over?"

Abigail smiled and looked down at his sleeping state. "I had run into him at the mercantile. He looked quite flustered and quite taken aback."

"We must have just introduced ourselves."

Abigail smiled. "So I gently asked him if he was all right. He said he was fine in that way of his." Elizabeth nodded as she continued. "And then I asked if he had any plans for supper. Well naturally he said, he didn't and I told him to come by and I would make my best stew."

"I take it he was quite confused by your invitation."

Abigail chuckled. "He was honestly quite giddy about it."

Elizabeth was shocked. "Giddy?"

"Well, I would like to think so. His ear perked up and his eyes brightened."

"But he didn't know you and I were living together."

"True. I would like to think it was a great surprise."

Elizabeth smiled as she smoothed his hair. "I'll say. For both of us."

They both laughed as it went quiet.

"Abigail?"

The woman looked at Elizabeth.

"Have you ever thought what would have happened if you chose differently?"

"How do you mean?"

Elizabeth sighed and adjusted her hand in his.

"If you didn't move here. Or have your son go into the mine."

Abigail reached over and took Elizabeth's free hand. "Some days. But in the end, we all must trust that God will lead us to something different. Maybe not always better. It can be hard, difficult and extremely painful but that doesn't mean we stop. Life doesn't stop because we want it to."

Elizabeth clutched tightly. "No one said it was easy."

She nodded. "Everything will be what it's meant to be."

Elizabeth felt the emotion rise up again. "And if Jack isn't meant…"

Abigail stopped her. "Not Jack. Not his time. Or yours. Life will come together for you both."

They exchanged another small smile as Elizabeth wiped the tears away.

The next morning Elizabeth awoke to the feeling of sun on her face. She winced and moved around in the chair, finding it was becoming her second home after the edge of his bed.

She looked over and saw he was peaceful, and more importantly breathing. Once again, like she always did, she leaned over and kissed his cheek, whispering that she was here.

The doctor came in later that morning, accessing his color and vitals. Elizabeth stood off to the side, stoic and strong but rattled inside. Every time he came she braced herself for bad news.

Jack didn't look uncomfortable which she was grateful for. The doctor turned to Elizabeth has he put his stethoscope back in his bag. "Good news is he's not worse. Bad news is he's not better."

She gently came over to his side and took his hand. "So the same?"

The doctor nodded as he closed up and pushed the seat back. "By my estimation. His breathing is a bit shallow but his chest his clear. His hands are no longer blue which is wonderful but he has not regained any movement in his eyes. They are not reactive to light."

"I have been changing his bandages and reading to him."

The doctor placed a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. "You are a strong woman Miss Thatcher. Keep doing what you are doing."

"Thank you Doctor."

The man didn't say anything else as Elizabeth kept her attention on Jack. When the room was quiet she gripped his hand and kissed the top of it. "I know you can hear me Jack. The doctor says you aren't any better but I know that's not true. Please wake up. I need you here with me."

She was feeling a bit defeated but didn't want that to show to him. She gently pushed him aside and lay down next to him, keeping her head in line with his as she gently rolled to her side. "I'm here. I'm here."

She stayed next to him until Charlotte came up with some fresh bandages. Together they changed them and the two women shared more stories about Jack.

"Jack told me when Rosemary rode into town. I heard it was quite a storm."

Elizabeth chuckled as she fluffed his pillows.

"She was something all right. I didn't know what to make of her."

"Neither did Jack. You know when they were growing up together, I always thought what a nice friendship they had but when he proposed…well…"

Charlotte trailed off and Elizabeth became intrigued. "You know Jack never told me the story."

"Hmm, men never want to tell the story of another love."

His love for Rosemary always made her feel a bit insecure which Charlotte picked up on.

"Oh, I didn't mean to imply he loved her deeply, because he didn't."

Elizabeth scrunched her nose as she sipped her now cold tea. "It's ok Charlotte; he was allowed a life before me."

Charlotte gave her a look. "This boy is so in love with you. Rosemary was someone who he cared about and I think, in some way he felt like that was the logical step. But love is never logical and I'm glad to know he has learned that."

They shared another smile.

Late afternoon, Elizabeth was forced out of the house by Abigail. She went kicking and screaming but she had to admit that the fresh air did feel nice. When she reached the mercantile, she was greeted by some of the women.

"Elizabeth, how lovely to see you out and about."

She weakly smiled as she rushed to the back to grab some supplies.

They followed her asking questions.

"Any change?"

"What did the doctor say?"

She looked back. "Thank you ladies for your concern. He is doing better. Now if you will excuse me, I want to get back quickly."

They nodded and she paid for her items quickly.

When she returned Abigail looked at her funny. "Elizabeth, you were gone for less than 10 minutes. I ask that you please go back and get more of the following."

She handed her a list.

"Abigail, I don't think it's appropriate-"

She cut her off. "It is. Elizabeth, you have not been out of this house in over 2 weeks. Jack would want you to be active and out with the living. Shoo…Shoo!"

Before Elizabeth could argue she was out the door again.

She took a deep breath and set off again down the street, the sun gently setting behind her. When she entered the mercantile again, Mr. Yost looked at her funny but said nothing.

This time her basket was filled when she set it down.

"Found everything you need Miss Elizabeth?"

She nodded as he rang up the items. "We are all thinking of Jack."

And that's all he said and she was grateful. "Thank you."

As she strolled back down to the café, she ran into a few students.

"Miss Thatcher!"

The little girl ran up to her. "Kathryn!"

"Is Mountie Jack better?"

Elizabeth squatted so she was eye level with her. "He will be soon."

The little girl smiled and wrapped her arms around her. "Yay. I hope you will come back to school. We miss you."

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around the little girl, feeling her eyes well up a bit. "Miss you all too."

Another boy came over. "Miss Thatcher tell Mountie Jack he can come and play baseball with us. We will let him play pitcher!"

"Thanks Billy. I will tell him."

She watched the two of them run back to play and as she picked up the basket again she closed her eyes and let the sun wash over her as it glowed bright.

When she entered the café, she found it busy, putting the items she bought in its rightful places. Clara came over and gave her a smile. "Did you enjoy your outing?"

She smiled. "I did. Thank you."

Clara gently touched her shoulder and then went back to work. It was nice when she had quiet moments with others and they didn't spend a lot of time asking questions.

Abigail came out from the front and smiled. "I just brought up some sandwiches to Charlotte and tea is ready for you."

"Thank you."

They exchanged a quick hug as Elizabeth then moved to take the tea tray.

When she entered the room, she saw Charlotte over Jack, telling a story. She didn't want to eavesdrop but she took a moment to listen.

"…you know when you wrote me those letters about coming to this town, I thought, he's going to be miserable you know? You always wanted to be where the action was."

Elizabeth had to stifle a small smile. "But then, you wrote again and you talked about the people, the friendships and one Miss Elizabeth…" Elizabeth could feel the smile.

"I became a hard woman after your father died. I never wanted to give myself to someone else because it would hurt too much. But I never wanted that for you and Tom. I wanted you to love fully and without reservation."

Elizabeth leaned against the doorway as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

"I want you to know how much I love you but I also know someone who loves you just as much. And I want the world for you. And Elizabeth is everything and more. She may come from a wealthy background but I know she is anything but stuffy and you know how much I detest stuffy."

Her laugh made Elizabeth smile. "She's strong, compassionate and over the moon for you. And you need to wake up so you can give her that ring you asked me about."

At the sound of a ring, Elizabeth almost dropped the tray. Feeling she shouldn't listen anymore, she entered, making a bit of noise.

"Charlotte?"

The woman turned and smiled. "Elizabeth, welcome back. I was just chatting with Jack."

She smiled. "Wonderful. I brought some tea."

The room was becoming a bit dark as the sun set as she placed the tray down.

Elizabeth poured the tea and Charlotte took her cup. "Thank you."

They each sat on either side of him, holding his hand. "I know it's hard for you to leave him but know Jack wants you to get out and do things."

"You sound like Abigail."

"Smart woman she is. I like her."

They exchanged another friendly look as Charlotte sipped her tea.

A little while later, with the lantern burning on the nightstand next to her, she fixed his blankets and sheets, bring them up to cover him. It was getting a bit cooler at night.

"Billy told me you can be pitcher when they play baseball…so you need to get better so you can beat the boys. The girls always enjoy when you are on their team. Plus, girls can do anything boys can."

She smiled when she thought of the camping trip they took. She learned very quickly that she could adapt to any situation.

"Your mother and I are getting along nicely. She really is a remarkable woman. I know how much she loves and cares for you. When you wake up, you probably are going to find I know all about Jack Thornton." She paused as she chuckled. "Don't worry, I still love you."

Gently she moved his hand to hers and leaned over him, tucking his hair behind his ear. "Your hair is getting long."

It was quiet for a moment as she listened to his breathing. It calmed her in a strange way to know he wasn't suffering and she hoped comfortable.

"It's ok, I'm here. Don't take too much longer. I think Rip is getting antsy looking for you though Cody is doing a great job."

She took a breath as she stroked his face, feeling the warmth of his skin under her fingers finding it bringing her some peace and hope.

"When you wake up, I thought the first thing we should do is have a picnic by the lake. You know my favorite spot, a bit off the path, at the edge. It's where we do our best talking, you know where you tease me with my cooking and sewing and you save me from the spiders."

Her eyes watered as she continued with the strongest voice she knew. "And you and I will hold hands as you walk me back to my home. You will kiss me goodnight on the steps and I won't want you to leave. I will hug you tight and whisper in your ear on how much I love you. You will smile against my cheek and kiss me again. Jack tell me, you love me too. Please."

She leaned into him, sobbing quietly into his shoulder. "Don't leave me. Don't leave us. Love you."

It was quiet as she listened to his breathing, steady and cold against her cheek.

She kissed his cheek repeatedly in an attempt to wake him as the tears ran freely down her cheeks and onto his.

With no response, she gently wrapped one arm around his waist as she pulled him closer to her. "I'm here."

She fell asleep next to him.

When she awoke her next was stiff and it was dark. Her eyes adjusted to the surroundings slowly and when she looked down, she saw his eyes closed and the moonlight illuminating his chest.

She struggled to get up as she gripped his hand. It was still warm.

The room was a bit chilly as she shivered. The blankets had moved slightly so she adjusted them.

The tea was cold as she took a sip. She stretched her back and legs finding them sore before settling into her chair and taking his hand, grasping it tight and looking back to him as she rocked back and forth.

She hummed slowly as she rocked, closing her eyes.

Suddenly she felt something. Opening her eyes she looked down to see his fingers moving.

Gasping quietly she looked at his face.

"Jack!" She jumped out of the chair and moved to the bedside. "I'm here."

She felt movement again in her fingers.

"I'm here." She gently ran her hand along his cheek and jawline. "I'm here."

He didn't open his eyes but she felt his hand as she squeezed it. "Take your time. Take your time."

Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her eyes watering at the thought that he was finally waking up and coming back.

She kissed his cheek softly whispering. "I love you. I love you."

It was quiet for a moment before she felt him stir under her, his breath becoming more rapid and his arm move and then in almost an instant she watched his eyes open.

They were looking right at her. She smiled through the tears and whispered. "Hey you."

He smiled but didn't speak. Instead he squeezed her hand back.

It was perfect.


End file.
